Please, Kill Mr. Kinski.

UPDATE: It looks like Mr. Schmoeller found this upload and requested it be taken down.

An oldie, but a goodie. This is the cleanest version of this short I've seen.
David Schmoeller's short, Please, Kill Mr. Kinski used to only last a few months on YouTube. Inevitably, we would see a take down order from Mr. Schmoeller, himself. Perhaps he has realized that while this short is an amazing piece of work, it's not a money maker.

The film, Crawlspace has got to be seen to be believed. If you you are a Klaus Kinski fan, you've got to get your grubby mitts on this film.

While I watched the film for the first time, I was texting a friend. Here are those notes (BEWARE: SPOILERS and terrible writing.)
- I've never seen Crawlspace with Klaus and I'm watching it on Netflix right now. The opening scene is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!!!!

- It's only about 30 seconds but he is such a rad douche. "She can't talk, I cut her tongue out.......... It's too bad. I liked you." And then some complicated contraption kills the lady. It's fucking crazy. HA!

- The next shot was him with a single bullet with his name etched into the bullet casing. He rubs some blood on it and plays Russian roulette. Then roll opening credits.

- Crawlspace is great stupid fun so far. I'm loving it. Klaus especially pissed me off because this cute nerdy chick was just about to take a bath and he distracted her. Hahahahahahahah, now he's putting on makeup in front of Martha, his slave friend in a cage.

- WAIT
It makes perfect sense. Klaus put on the makeup to watch films of Hitler. Duh.
 
- Now she's crawling through the crawlspace and he's chasing her on a fucking crawlspace SLED!

- Klaus is so fucking slimy and horrible. I love him.
It's a very good movie. It is so cheesy and terrible, I love it.
Martha looks like some chick in Martyrs but with 80's low budget lighting where there is NO MOOD. 

Just to show I wasn't exaggerating, here's the trailer. "Between the wall... and Hell. Crawlspace."

Batman as a 1970's Eurocrime film.

This took a second to grow on me. I flipped at Klaus Kinski as The Joker.

Blond-Mustache man as Commissioner Gordon and Henry Silva as Two-Face are also perfect choices.

 

The Klausblower.

Rise of the Planet of the Klaus.

On Stranger Klaus'.

GQ and Klaus Kinski on Werner Herzog.

 

GQ has a short but cool profile of filmmaker, Werner Herzog. Herzog has recently finished a 3-D film about the oldest known paintings in Chauvet cave.
I read an interview with Klaus Kinski yesterday. It was from an old Fangoria magazine. I mean no disrespect, but we all know Kinski was pretty crazy. Anyway, here is what he said about Herzog:

Fangoria: One of your latest films, Fitzcarraldo is already something of a legend...
Kinski: Yeah, they made a legend out of it. It's strange to see how a legend grows.
Fangoria: How did this one grow?
Kinski: Werner Herzog invents his own legends to make himself look interesting. He was writing down notes the entire time he was shooting the film. He had a notebook with him, always. It took him longer to write his ledger than it did to film the movie. Every three minutes, he'd be off scribbling. He was printing tinier than the print you find in the Bible. Brave! You can print smaller than the Bible.
He would send these letters back to newspapers in Germany, like some explorer describing the conquest of the North Pole. "This morning, Kinski tempts me.... but I resist! I cannot give up!" That sort of shit. "I have the feeling that Kinski is terrified of being filmed!"
Of course I was terrified of being filmed! The cameraman didn't know anything about lighting and half the crew didn't understand the movie.

AND LATER

Fangoria: Did Herzog's behavior strike you as being particularly odd?
Kinski: No. Herzog's always been like that. He did some strange things when we were filming Aguirre 12 years ago. He wanted us to do suicidal things. But he didn't count on me. I wouldn't get trapped like the others.
We were supposed to go down the jungle rapids in a raft. The local natives were saying "You'll die! You can't do that!" Herzog dismissed them. He was in a motorboat. I was on the damned raft with over 40 pounds of armor on. If I had fallen into the water, I wouldn't have been able to swim. The raft ran into a tree. We were in water up to our waists. I started cutting my armor off. Herzog told me to stop. To keep it on. I yelled back "F*ck you!" He didn't care about me. He filmed the entire scene with me cursing at him and cutting off my armor. Later, he played that one scene in Germany before the movie opened. He was already creating legends years ago. Me? I think a movie, if it's good, will create its own legend once it opens.
Fangoria: Do you dislike Herzog?
Kinski: No. He's a highly talented guy. He does very good movies and he's not the sort of person who always talks in bullshit. He does many, many things right. But he's also sick. Obsessed. He wants to make history, not movies. Anyone who wants to make history is stupid.

Hahahh.
Kinski really got me thinking about Herzog as a storyteller vs. a filmmaker.
Herzog's film My Best Fiend, about his relationship with Kinski is a must-see for fans of either man. Herzog really lays into Kinski, in parts of the film. It is nice to hear a little from the other side, in the Fangoria interview. I'm sure the truth, as always, is somewhere in the middle.

When I read the first paragraph of the GQ piece, thinking of Kinski's quote, I had to laugh to myself:
"The daring German filmmaker Werner Herzog once walked a thousand miles to propose to a woman. He once plotted to firebomb his leading man's house and once ate his own shoe to square a bet. He once got shot in the stomach during a TV interview, then insisted on finishing. And despite it all, his latest adventure—a 3-D documentary about cave paintings—still sounds batshit crazy."

AND LATER
"The myth of his movies was compounded by the myth of Herzog himself; over time he became almost as famous for the stories of what happened during the making of his movies as for the movies themselves, particularly the two he made in the Peruvian Amazon, Aguirre and Fitzcarraldo. Fitzcarraldo took several years to complete and was beset by obstacles, and its on-screen story—the tale of an ambitious delusional man with a crazy dream to carry a ship from one river to another over a jungle-covered mountain—seemed to also become the story of its making. (Characteristically, Herzog decided that the best way to film a ship being moved over a mountain deep in the rain forest was to actually move a ship over a mountain deep in the rain forest, and film it.) From such stories, and from the intense and obsessive man Herzog seemed to be in the interviews he would give back then, the perception grew that he might genuinely be crazy."

(photo by Erinc Salor)

Daily poster: Nosferatu.

Nosferatu.

I had never seen this Nosferatu poster before. Great image.

This Daily poster goes out to my Aunt Amy who was in town and we had a great visit last night. My mother laughed harder than I've seen her laugh in probably a year or two.

Courtesy of Wrong Side of the Art.

Damnit, Klaus.

Stolen.

All Hail KLAUS!

Stolen.