Spit in your face and laugh.

 

My grandfather gave this fellow to our family when I was a wee lad. You would pull his tie and he would spit in your face and then laugh at you for a minute or two. He's so ugly, he scared quite a few of my friends back in the day.
I needed some eyeballs for some makeup effect I was creating as a teenager and the old guy's eyes got plucked. His tongue was also some sort of soft plastic and it has rotted away.
Here's a Santa Claus version.

(for Mike M.)